


Don't You Ever Tame Your Demons

by SapphicStrawberry



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avatar Aang (Avatar), Enemies(?) to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Found Family Gaang, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Im not sorry, POV Alternating, Pining, Red Lotus (Avatar), Slow Burn, i just really like them ok, no beta we ascend to the moon like yue, updates weekly, we do like fluff here, yes i stole the red lotus characters from lok, zukka is endgame, zuko joins the gaang early
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29808471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicStrawberry/pseuds/SapphicStrawberry
Summary: When Zuko was 13, he was banished from the Fire Nation.When Zuko was 14, the Order of the Red Lotus took Zuko in after a life-threatening accident.When Zuko was 15, he became a fully fledged child assassin of the Red Lotus.When Zuko was 16, he was sent to kill the Avatar.AU where after Zuko was banished, the Red Lotus saved him and trained him as one of their own. A cold-blooded murderer, nothing more than a killer.So when he is sent to kill the Avatar, it's just another mission. Just another kill.Play the long con; pretend to join the group, gain their trust.  Just make sure you don't get attached. Should be easy, right?rated t cuz they swear. set tentatively to update weekly, on sundays.title is from 'Arsonist's Lullaby' by Hozier
Relationships: Minor Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	Don't You Ever Tame Your Demons

Zuko panted hard, smoke spilling from his nostrils. His entire left side sang with pain from the impact of the explosion, but he gritted his teeth and ignored it.

His callused hands gripping his broadswords tightly, he ran and pushed off the side of a jagged rock to the side of him, propelling him into the air.

Orange tongues of flame shot from the balls of his feet, their heat hardly noticeable to him due to the adrenaline coursing through his body, his fire swirling around him as he spun through the air, and he braced his chest as he hit the ground, absorbing the impact of the fall in a graceful roll.

Leaping to his feet, he turned to face his opponent and make sure his shot had reached his mark. He was met with a beam of white light that flew to his right this time, and he barely managed to get behind a fallen boulder before another explosion shook the canyon.

Debris flew everywhere, and he scrambled away from the billowing clouds of smoke and fire that erupted from where the beam of energy had hit.

A sliver of sharp rock left a large gash in his arm which screamed as he brought his swords up to shield his face, and warm, wet blood soaked into his short sleeves and dripped down his arm.

Sheathing his swords swiftly and ignoring the dizziness in his vision, he took a deep breath. The acrid smoke in the air filled his lungs, burning him, but he breathed out hard, his exhale a violent burst of orange that was matched with twin bursts from his hands, merging together to form a funnel of flame that wreathed around his opponent.

Grabbing his swords again, he ran behind his disoriented opponent and pushed off another boulder to land behind her, swords at her throat.

P’li conceded with a grin, stepping away from the gleaming sharp blades of Zuko’s dao. 

A quiet, calm male voice came from the man that sat cross legged on top of a pillar of stone. “Sloppy. You managed to beat her, but that was a mainly luck. You sustained a dangerous injury, which we cannot afford in the field.”

Zaheer gestured to the still heavily bleeding wound in Zuko’s arm. Zuko hissed through his teeth as he took the gauze offered by P’li and pressed hard, trying to staunch the gleaming scarlet that flowed freely down his arm.

“You need to work on combining your firebending and sword fighting. There were several windows in which you could have gotten in vital blows, and maybe you wouldn’t be in the position you are in now.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“Then that is enough for today. Wash out that cut and you are free for the rest of the afternoon.”

Zuko nodded to show he understood, and walked as steadily as he could back up the canyon to the medical tent.

Stepping into the cool shade of the medical tent was a huge relief, and Zuko allowed himself a brief moment to lean against the cold stone walls of the shelter.

Now the adrenaline of the fight had subsided, he could really feel the stinging of where rock had pelted against his skin, and the ragged, angry edges of his wound made him bite down on his tongue so as not to cry out in pain.

“Hey kiddo! Here, let me.” P’li stepped into the stone structure, her long black plait swinging over her shoulder as she crouched to avoid hitting the ceiling.

He scowled at the endearment but allowed her to lead him to the chair in the middle of the room, rinse his arm and apply a stinging antiseptic balm.

“I’m really sorry about this.” She hummed a cheerful tune, rootling through a bag of equipment behind him. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Her eyebrows knitted together and the deep crimson eye tattoo on her forehead warped with the movement.

“It’s fine.” He muttered mutinously.

“Aha!” She brandished a needle and then sent a sympathetic grimace in his direction. “This is gonna need stitches, brace yourself.”

He nodded, and sat still and silent throughout the entire painful procedure. 

“Alright… And you’re free to go!” She grinned at him as she finished wrapping fresh gauze around his arm.

“Thanks, P’li.”

“Anytime. Mai is training with Ming Hua right now in the waterfall caves if you want to watch?”

He nodded gratefully as he stepped back outside into the blistering hot of the summer sun. He picked his way across the rocky terrain until he could hear the tell-tale thundering of the waterfall, and over the lip of the gorge where he could see another fight was taking place.

He sat with his feet dangling over the edge of the craggy rock, watching the tiny figures dance around below as he lay back and soaked up Agni’s rays.

Ming Hua had the upper hand despite the fact she was still recovering from her recent injuries, surrounded by her element and with more experience compared to her younger opponent, but the black and red robed figure was not going down easily.

Mai was little more substance than shadow, flitting in and out of the waterbender’s octopus-like tentacles. A throwing knife caught the light as it flew to its mark, pinning Ming Hua’s sleeves up against the rocky walls. She freed herself quickly, and an icy hook spun around and knocked the shadow backwards.

“Come on Mai.” Zuko murmured under his breath, willing his friend to keep fighting.

But Ming Hua bent a stream of water and directed it at the girl who was just standing up, forcing her to collapse again.

Zuko sighed.

He made his way down into the training circle, nodding to Ghazan, who was overseeing the spar, as he passed, until he reached his friend.

“Ugh. I’m soaked.” Mai scowled in her usual monotone, raising an eyebrow at Zuko.

He passed her a few of the throwing knives scattered around that he’d picked up, and nodded sympathetically.

She held out an arm, and Zuko gripped it, willing a flow of heat to pass through it and warm the other body. He inhaled, concentrating hard, and exhaled, letting his breath of fire spread from his body to Mai’s.

“Thanks. Pity you can’t dry my clothes off as well.”

“The sun will dry them soon enough.”

Mai sighed. “Yeah, but that requires patience I really don’t have right now.”

Zuko chuckled.

They walked back up the path, Mai squeezing water from her heavy robes as the sun beat down on their backs.

They sat on a ledge overlooking the waterfall, still in the sun yet with the cooling spray dancing around them, forming little iridescent rainbows that surrounded the tumbling water.

Zuko shook his shaggy black hair out, feeling his aching scalp cry out in relief as it was released from its tight topknot. Mai leaned against his good shoulder, polishing her throwing knives as they sat in companiable silence.

It was how it had always been. Zuko and Mai, together against the world. At least, that was how it had been after his banishment.

Zuko’s scar prickled uncomfortably just thinking about it, and he shook his head to dispel his thoughts. It was thoughts like that that gave him nightmares, that made him wake up screaming and sweating and panting.

Zuko didn’t like to think about his banishment.

_I will prove myself to Father. I will be a good son, a good prince. I will show him, somehow, someday, that I am still worthy. I will find the Avatar, and restore my honour._

“Come on, I think Zaheer wanted me to train with him tonight and I’m starving.” Mai’s cool voice cut through his thoughts. “Let’s go get something to eat before all Ghaz hogs all the good stuff.” She turned back to look at him, a smile playing on her lips and glinting in her feline amber eyes.

Zuko flashed a rare grin back at her, dispelling his Father from his mind, and they ran back up through the network of caves.

======================

Everyday was much the same, when you were a teenager training in the Red Lotus.

They got up as soon as the sun rose and trained for the whole morning. Lunch. Training in the afternoon unless it was the weekend. Free time in the market, if they were near one. Pack up after a week or so. Keep moving. Stay on your feet. Don’t let the authorities catch you.

Often the older members of their little group, Zaheer, Ming Hua, Ghazan, and P’li, went off on their little missions, leaving Mai and Zuko alone at camp.

The Red Lotus was an organization that strived for freedom. They worked to free the citizens from the rule of anyone, letting the natural order of the world take over. This was good. This is how it was meant to be.

Zuko understood what he was part of, what this group did. He knew that the disappearance of King Evro of the Earth Kingdom was no accident, nor was it a coincidence that Ghazan had come back barely hours after it was announced carrying Ming Hua’s tiny broken bleeding out body. He knew that the mysterious murders of the various rulers and nobles of each town they visited were the work of their organization.

He knew it, and was not afraid. Both he and Mai had killed people. Felt the life drain out beneath their blades, watched light fade in their eyes.

He didn’t care.

He didn’t feel it anymore, not really. He didn’t feel anything anymore.

And so life in his little section of the Red Lotus carried on as usual, training hard with P’li or Ming Hua or Ghazan, with Zaheer when he used his non-bending fighting styles and sword fighting.

The Red Lotus was not large. A few groups like his, here and there, dotted around the nations. Zaheer was highly ranked and seemed to be in charge, at least to Zuko. He heard next to nothing about the other groups, and according to an eavesdropped conversation they were lying dormant at the moment.

It didn’t matter. At least he had something to do, somewhere to go.

=======================

Rumours had circulated the Fire Nation for years of a mysterious, blue-masked vigilant, a notorious spirit who appeared and disappeared in cities, villages, and towns, rescuing citizens from Fire Nation authorities, and stealing from the rich and noble families. Whenever the Blue Spirit was sighted, death followed close after. The vigilant was a wanted criminal all over the Fire Nation, especially in Caldera, and there was a huge bounty on his head.

 _Well, it’s nice to be wanted somewhere at least,_ Zuko though bitterly as he slipped the blue and white oni mask over his face and strapped his dao to his back.

He flew silently into the night, weaving in and out of houses and flitting from rooftop to rooftop.

Earlier, Zaheer had given him the name and address of a Fire Nation General and said the same thing he had said every time for the past three years. ‘In and out. You know what to do. Don’t get caught.’

And Zuko did.

So Zuko was now nothing more than darkness in the shadows of buildings, a wolf under the moon, a predator on the hunt for his prey.

He reached the address that Zaheer had given him, a large mansion. The house of a nobleman.

He quickly scaled the side of the building, reaching a large window. Leaning in close on the side of his good ear, he could just make out deep, heavy breathing on the other side of it. Just one person. Male. Good, the general was asleep, and he was alone.

After holding a concentrated flame to the locks, the window slid open noiselessly, and Zuko slipped into the room.

His movements were snakelike; elegant and silent. His swords made a soft hissing noise as he slowly unsheathed them, creeping closer and closer to the sleeping general.

It was done in one fell swoop; the hiss of a blade, the soft tearing of flesh, the spurt of scarlet as it dripped onto the floor.

In and out.

Don’t get caught.

========================

When Zuko got back, Mai shot him a glance. He nodded back tiredly, and she relaxed and patted the seat next to her.

“How are you?” She asked in her cool, clear voice, looking over him with her eyes that seemed to see right through him. She might have looked indifferent if it weren’t for the concern glittering in their amber depths.

Zuko sighed heavily, peeling off his dark clothing and donning his usual loose red and gold attire.

“I’m sick of this boring monotony. There’s got to be something we’re working up to, something big, but I can’t see it yet. There’s got to be a point to this, right? All this… Killing? I want to do something. Something big. I want to show them that taking me in was worth it.” He sighed again, pacing agitatedly back and forth.

Mai raised a pencil thin eyebrow. “Need to work off some steam?”

“Please.”

“Ugh fine, you win.” Zuko huffed from where Mai had him pinned to the rock, shining blades mere inches from his skin holding him fast against the cool stone.

It was a good spar. His gashed arm was healing nicely, and had barely twinged at all. He would be back in perfect condition soon enough. Well, nearly perfect.

The dark-haired girl gave him a smirk before walking over to release him. He fell to the ground with a thud, and took the hand she offered him. He was feeling a bit better now, but it hadn’t really been enough to burn off all the pent-up energy that had been building for a while now.

He appreciated her efforts all the same. Zuko didn’t know where he would be without Mai.

“I think I might take a break.” Zuko yawned widely. He had been up from dusk until dawn, after all.

“Oh thank Agni, I thought I was going to have to drag you. No normal human can function as long as you can without sleep, Zu.”

She chuckled lightly, and led him into the tent they shared. The last thing he remembered was her cold, soft fingers gently brushing the hair out of his eyes and her sharp apple scent wreathing around him, before he drifted into the sweet release of sleep.

Zuko woke up alone to a cold tent, and a note sitting pinned to his blanket with a throwing knife from Mai.

_‘Zaheer wants to see you. Make it quick – he sounded pissed.’_

He frowned. It wasn’t unusual for Zaheer to request his presence, but rather that he was displaying something other than his usual unsettlingly calm demeanour. Zuko couldn’t ever work out how Zaheer kept his emotions so in check, whereas he himself had a fiery temper and a tendency to lash out at anyone close to him.

He snorted.

_Probably why Father always preferred Azula more._

Just another thing in which his perfect, emotionless, ruthless, brutal baby sister was better than him. Azula and her Father shared their perfect calm and composed exterior and sheer firebending power, while Zuko and his mother shared their tendency to feel everything far too deeply and their mediocrity. Overlooked. Second-best. Lucky to be born.

Ozai really was Azula’s Father. Not Zuko’s. Fathers are meant to have good, loyal, worthy son, and Zuko was none of those things. Zuko had failed him. He had every right to banish him, to disown him. Zuko was not worthy of being the Fire Lord’s son.

Ghosts of nightmares placed their wispy palms over his scar, and he shuddered, shaking his head.

_No._

He was with the Red Lotus now. His training here would prepare him for his most important task. He would set the world right, and then prove himself to Father. He had to.

So Zuko squared his shoulders and got up to make his way to Zaheer’s tent.

===========================

Moonlight lanced through the boulders that he swerved around, bathing the camp in an eerie silver glow, and bleaching all colour black and white.

The tent was lit up with a golden glow, and Zuko could see blurry silhouettes moving around in it. A tall, slim figure who was pacing backwards and forwards, long plait swinging. P’li. A shorter, more muscular man sitting still at the end of a table, his fingers drumming lightly on the hard surface the only sign of his agitation. Zaheer.

Zuko stood still, ducking behind a crag of rock to hide. Concentrating hard, he closed his eyes and let the darkness surround him. Emptying his mind and taking deep, slow breaths like Uncle taught him years before, he could feel his chi flowing through his body, strong and alive, his inner flame flickering in time with the rise and fall of his chest.

Slowly, slowly, he pushed through the barrier of his senses and felt only with his fire. He soon detected the pulsing heartbeats of the nearby figures, one fast and panicked, the other a slow steady beat. Heat radiated off them; he could feel it start to saturate the air as he concentrated all the harder, allowing him to pinpoint the movement of the figures, their breathing, their pulse. Soon their voices became clearer, the vibrations and waves making the sound slightly echoey, and Zuko let the flow of infra-red and sound waves wash over him as he stayed hidden behind the boulder.

“I’m telling you, Z, you’re wrong! You have to be! It’s impossible!” P’li’s voice was pointed and firm.

“I know what I saw, I know what I feel. There has been a significant shift in the spiritual energies of this plane.”

“It can’t be, Zaheer! And what you’re suggesting, it’s madness! He can’t do that, he’s just a kid!”

“You said it yourself, both Mai and Zuko are highly accomplished in their respective fields, and have been very successful with everything we have asked of them. What would the point be of meticulously training the Order’s only child assassins if we aren’t going to use them? The Fire Lord’s son and the daughter of a noble no less.”

Zuko sucked in a breath that started burning in his lungs, his inner flame dancing rapidly.

“When you first suggested child assassins, I thought it was an amazing idea. Of course, no one would ever suspect a kid! Especially a kid that everyone thinks is dead! Z, you know that I’d follow you to the end of the world, and I know Zuko is an incredible child assassin now thanks to you, but he’s also just that! A child!”

P’li’s voice climbed higher and higher as her pacing quickened, and she slammed her hands down hard on the table.

Zuko could feel his heartbeat ringing in his ears, and he wiped his now copiously sweating palms on his trousers.

_What does he want me to do? What could possibly get P’li so het up like this?_

“P’li. Who else do you propose we send? Ghazan and Ming Hua are going to the Northern Water Tribe. You and I are going to link up with our other units. This is what we trained him for, what we took him in for, what we took in both of them for! The world does not know of his return yet. If we send Zuko, we can deal with this quietly, before it gets out too much, before others try to find him too. We need to get our claws in before anyone else does.”

“It’s so risky! What if.. What if he doesn’t come back?” P’li’s voice faltered.

“Then he doesn’t come back. We’ve all made sacrifices, P’li, love. There’s been a war going on for the last one hundred years. If he does this, if we all do what we are meant to, we can stop the war and restore the planet into the natural order of the world again. Don’t you see? This could be our only chance.”

“Please.” But P’li knew she was defeated, and her plea was only a broken noise.

Zaheer smiled. “Perfect. In two sunrises, Zuko will set off to kill the Avatar.”

Zuko felt the air whoosh from his lungs in a huff as his legs gave out beneath him and he sank to the ground, mind reeling in shock.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! let me know what you think in the comments, i live for your feedback. leave a kudos if you feel like it, and make sure you drink enough water! thanks for reading <3


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